And in further news we have a wonder inducing story about Geezer the Asshat and his amazing vengeance upon his wife.
They say that we all have a breaking point. You could take the most pleasant and laid back guy around, but I would venture a guess that if you started to slingshot feisty field mice into his crotch with a water balloon slingshot he might come unglued. Or what if you screwed the lid to his bottle of ketchup on too tightly. Yep. That would unleash the thunder.
Well, you are probably thinking, the ketchup bottle seems a bit far fetched. That is not nearly as bad as exhuming his mothers corpse for the sole purpose of dry-humping it in front of his kids. Or is it? Check this guy out:
Ol’ Gramps of Vengeance here thought it was a pretty fucked up thing to do. And he told the guilty party, his wife, exactly how he felt about the situation using the best method he could conjure up. Bullets.
Read about it here:
This has to be some of the dumbest shit I have read in a while. Really? The god damn grandmutha-anal-violatin’ ketchup bottle? What in the fuck???? There are not enough questions marks in the damn universe to properly convey how baffled I am that closing the lid to some tomato paste a half screw too much warrants a death sentence.
It gets even more odd when you add to the calculation that he “set a trap” for his wife upstairs, blasted her in the neck, and then SHOT HER AGAIN in the head...JUST TO MAKE SURE SHE WAS DEAD.
Was she related to the Predator or something? This fuck was so concerned about his next plate of soggy-ass french fries that he was not going to take any chances.
He is on oxygen for fucks sake. How did he sneak up on her to blast her? You think she would have noticed the sound of “tip toe…tip toe..CLUNK CLUNK…tip toe…tip toe…CLUNK CLUNK MUTHA CLUNK CLUNK” as Prune Balls drug his tank of air around the room with him to murder her bottle closing ass.
I realize the article does not state that he snuck up on her but look at that jerk. He is like 105 and shit. There is no way he could see well enough to aim a firearm more than a few feet in front of him. She probably wanted to die to get away from him. It is the only solution that makes sense.
I think the moral of the story here is that all families should buy individual packets of ketchup…like the ones that you get at burger joints…as this well help stop this kind of shit from happening again.