Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
No matter where you are, who you are, or what kind of crap you may or may not find yourself in at the moment, you probably have plenty to be thankful about. Sometimes you can only be thankful that things are not worse, but in that case, just remember that for some poor bastard out there…things are worse. Regardless of what is going on, this is the only today you are going to have, and so you should really try to enjoy it.
Sometimes you can be thankful about the things that people decided not to do. I am.
I try very hard to enjoy each one of my days. This is mostly due to my constant realization at how fleeting and short our time is here. Every moment that I can still breathe and my heart still beats is a moment of hope. There is always that last moment to do the right thing this time, tell someone important that you love them, make a conscious effort to not sweat the small stuff, and chase your dreams. One of these moments will be the last so it is of utmost importance to not let the opportunities to truly live pass you by.
Some might think that it was my constant accidents and brushes with death that taught me this: the sixteen broken bones, the two electrocutions, the bolt going into my forehead at forty miles an hour, etc. Some might think it was my baby girl dying on my living room rug as I desperately, and hopelessly, attempted CPR that taught me this. Some might think it was learning to live without Pops after that gas tanker violently removed him from our lives that taught me this. And while it is true that I learned a great deal from all of those experiences, they just reinforced a lesson I had already been taught.
It was the one thing my B-Mom asked me to do. The only thing she asked me to do.
I use the term B-Mom to reference my biological mother whom I have never met. My Mom was Charlene Millsap, who loved me as her own son and spent, even to this day, many hours and tears shaping my existence. My B-Mom is mostly a figment of my imagination and a fragmented, abstract series of thoughts based on the few things that Pops would tell me about when ever I pressed him for information.
And still, I am so thankful for her. She was a teenager in a time when teen pregnancy was more stigmatized than it is today. I could have been terminated. She could have tried to keep me and raise me. I feel that she made the best decision to give me up to people that really, really wanted a baby and were in a place in their lives to raise one. She did not leave me empty handed, however. This note came with my paperwork when the Millsap’s adopted me. It is my most precious possession.
Reading the picture might be difficult so I will transcribe it for you here:
Writing this letter is the second hard thing I must do. The first was what to do when I got pregnant. I hadn’t been 17 two weeks. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. But I knew from the beginning that you had a soul, and it was up to me to give you a good start in life. There is no way I can do it alone. You need two parents. This decision was made ALL by me. No one pressured me into anything. I know I am doing the right thing and I will have no regrets. I know you will be loved, and cared for, and provided for. I will never forget you or ever stop wondering about you. Maybe someday we will meet. I’d like to. I guess I’ll go now but remember I did what I did for you, because I want you to be happy. Please be happy.”
Please be happy. And there you have it.
Some adopted folks have a chip on their shoulder about it, but I feel very honored. This woman sacrificed the very nature of her natural instincts to do what she thought was best…for me. The least I can do is to not allow her sacrifice to be in vain. I must try to honor her one request. Thus, I try to be happy. I look for the positive where others only see negative. I make the most of each day.
This pursuit of happiness, it would turn out, makes you pretty happy. And again, I find myself so very thankful for B-Mom’s choice for me.
Whether or not you look for the silver lining when you are in darkness is completely up to you. Regardless of your choice to do or not to do that, when that bus runs over you tomorrow you will be dead. Would it not be better if today was your last, to fill it with as much joy as you could?
Take it from me…it is.
You probably think that you will still be here tomorrow, and I hope that you are (well, most of you), but thousands of people will not be, and you are no different than they are.
So be thankful, today, tomorrow, everyday. Hug a loved one. Read a book. Chase your dreams and leave your mark on the world.
The clock is ticking.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from Dr. Froth.