Seems like we have a holiday for everything now.
Everything except: Go-Kart Attendant Day, Bass Player Day, and Froth Day. I don’t get a holiday… what a fucking rip-off.
This used to be Secretary’s Day, but all the women got pissed off at being called secretaries so they changed it. On one hand that seems odd because all of the women were, in fact, secretaries. But on the other hand….they don’t like to be called bitches either. I guess I understand.
Anyway, you might be wondering why a holiday that has nothing to do with me at all has made it into the honorable position of having a blog spot on the illustrious “Frothtonomy.” And that is where you would be wrong. The holiday does effect me in a roundabout sort of way and you as well since you are reading this post.
Lori, my sweetheart, works as a professional assistant (i.e. secretary) in a big law firm. She corrects punctuation and spelling and God only knows what else on legal forms all fucking day long. And do you know what she does in her free time…. that’s right boys and girls: She works for free as an administrative professional for Frothtonomy. How fucking awesome is that? Do you want to know why there are enough commas between Ballz, Dick, Sack, and Boobs: Thank Lori. Did you see a semi-colon somewhere? I don’t even know what the fuck semi-colons do, so if you happen to see one of those motherfuckers: Thank Lori. Is Antidisestablishmentarianism spelled correctly…fuck if I know…that one is not even in the spell check dictionary, but if it is correct: Yep..Thank Lori.
She does not even mind that she is making corrections on material that ranges from shoving infants into wood chippers, teabagging grandma, or urinating into a wayward teachers lungs. She just makes the corrections.
So…since the rest of the world is taking a day to thank their administrative professionals…I thought I could do the same.
Thank’s Lori. And I’m sure all the (six of ya now) subscribers thank you too.
I’d tell you all to leave a comment thanking her for volunteering her time, but when none of you did it, I would probably feel bad. So I won’t say that…but if you do it on your own, it would be most moist.